Question

What's your experience dating a single mum?

Answer 1

I’ve done it once, and I won’t do it again. Not because single mums aren’t great women, but because dating one comes with built-in realities that can’t be avoided. Even when she says she’s handling everything on her own, there are expectations, spoken or unspoken, that you’ll eventually have to deal with. Here’s what I learned.

 

1. You Are Not Her Priority

Her child comes first. Always. That means your plans, your needs, and sometimes even your problems will have to wait. If you need to be the centre of your partner’s world, this is not the relationship for you.

 

2. Spontaneity is Dead

Forget last-minute plans. Every date, every trip, even just spending time together requires scheduling. School runs, babysitters, and custody arrangements all have to be considered.

 

3. The Ex is Always in the Picture

Even if they’re not together, they still share a child. That means he has access to her life in a way no other ex would. There will be phone calls, co-parenting discussions, and moments where you’ll have to accept that another man’s input still matters.

 

4. You Are Not the Main Character

Your relationship doesn’t exist in a bubble. There will always be interruptions and divided attention. You will have to take a backseat sometimes. It’s not personal, just reality.

 

5. Kids Say the Wildest Things

One day, the kid will ask something awkward. “Are you my new dad?” “Why are you always here?” It’s innocent, but it forces you to confront things you might not be ready to answer.

 

6. You Inherit Responsibilities

She might say, “I’m not looking for someone to take responsibility for my child.” In reality, you will. Whether it’s school runs, birthday presents, or just helping out, you will end up playing stepdad in some way.

 

7. Emotional Bandwidth is Limited

She has a full-time job, a child, and a million responsibilities. Some days, she simply won’t have the energy to deal with your problems too. If you need consistent emotional support, this will be difficult.

 

8. Discipline is a No-Win Situation

If the child misbehaves, do you say something or not? If you correct them, she might get defensive. If you don’t, she might wish you’d back her up. Either way, it’s a tricky position to be in.

 

9. Less Time, Less Attention, Less You

She has limited time, and you have to be okay with that. Texts won’t always be instant. Calls will be short. Your relationship will always have to fit around her existing life.

 

10. Breaking Up is Worse

If you build a bond with her child, leaving isn’t just leaving her, it’s leaving them too. If the child gets attached, that’s a different level of guilt to carry.