Is it 'gold-digging' for a woman to seek for a husband that is rich?
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Notable Reply
The other day, I shared with a friend that some people aren't looking for love, they are looking for someone else to share or bear the capitalist burdens of our society with or for them. Love is only one of many basis of a romantic relationship these days. I don't think it is gold-digging for a woman to seek a husband that is rich, especially if she is honest about it.
In addition, I have seen romantic relationships fall apart because of poverty. Because of our self-righteousness sometimes, we demonize money and undermine how much it can make life easier or even relationships work. Imagine a long-distance relationship with two people who are so in love, they are a match made in heaven but unable to buy ticket often to see each other. Money and wealth can be the sixth sense to let us enjoy life and love fully.
Besides the woman's desire for a rich husband, I'll be curious to know what the bargain is here. Not to minimize love to being transactional but if she isn't earning as much or working at all, what does he desire of her in exchange? Some women have the kind of presence and support in their man's life that money can't buy and if that's what the man in such relationship wants and will get, who says that's not a fair exchange?
I want to marry a rich man for several reasons and I have stopped being shy about this even in my prayers to God lol. First, because I also want to be rich. I will admire someone I can learn about wealth from and vice versa. Second, I want to build intergenerational wealth and I hope we can both have values and legal streams of income to make that happen. Third, there are too many problems in this world and even in relationships; I don't want lack to be one of them especially if that can be avoided.
Six years ago, my then, strong-headed feminist self would have said I want a 50-50 financially equal relationship. However, the older I become, the more I understand why the romantic dynamics or even marriages where the man earns the most money or is the main source of income while the wife is a full-time housewife or care taker works. Even when that's not the case and they can afford services to take care of such house care demands and a woman says she just wants to marry a rich man, I have decided it's not my place to judge her. I have become less judgmental of women who explicitly say that they want relationships with wealthy men.
In addition, I have seen romantic relationships fall apart because of poverty. Because of our self-righteousness sometimes, we demonize money and undermine how much it can make life easier or even relationships work. Imagine a long-distance relationship with two people who are so in love, they are a match made in heaven but unable to buy ticket often to see each other. Money and wealth can be the sixth sense to let us enjoy life and love fully.
Besides the woman's desire for a rich husband, I'll be curious to know what the bargain is here. Not to minimize love to being transactional but if she isn't earning as much or working at all, what does he desire of her in exchange? Some women have the kind of presence and support in their man's life that money can't buy and if that's what the man in such relationship wants and will get, who says that's not a fair exchange?
I want to marry a rich man for several reasons and I have stopped being shy about this even in my prayers to God lol. First, because I also want to be rich. I will admire someone I can learn about wealth from and vice versa. Second, I want to build intergenerational wealth and I hope we can both have values and legal streams of income to make that happen. Third, there are too many problems in this world and even in relationships; I don't want lack to be one of them especially if that can be avoided.
Six years ago, my then, strong-headed feminist self would have said I want a 50-50 financially equal relationship. However, the older I become, the more I understand why the romantic dynamics or even marriages where the man earns the most money or is the main source of income while the wife is a full-time housewife or care taker works. Even when that's not the case and they can afford services to take care of such house care demands and a woman says she just wants to marry a rich man, I have decided it's not my place to judge her. I have become less judgmental of women who explicitly say that they want relationships with wealthy men.
Notable Reply
Last week, a friend told me a story about a guy who resented a lady for rebuffing all his advances.
Some years later, he found out she had started a beautiful family with another man of better means, who has provided her with a comfortable life, while he still struggles to make ends meet. After a quick pondering, he began to laugh at himself, as he openly admitted the lady made the right decision as she would have been miserable with him. She did what she thought was best for her.
I think in most contexts, the usages of the word "gold-digger" are unfair to women.
Why? It's because nature designed women to desire and seek out the most valuable male they can attract, who has status, competence and resources. That's not gold digging, that's biology, and that's protecting her best interest and securing the future of her offsprings. Love is not an acceptable currency for rent and school fees anywhere in the world.
If you are a male and you have a problem with this, you might need to increase your productivity (double your hustle). Women are nurturers, men are providers. You'll never find a man of means or on track to means complain about "gold-diggers", instead they gladly use their resources to their advantage.
It's just like back in secondary school. If an unscheduled "tear a sheet of paper for a quick test" made you break out in sweats and protests, you probably weren't one of the brilliant and studious, ever-ready students in your class.
If you are a woman reading this, nothing good comes for free. Those kind of men who have worked hard to make themselves competitive would want something in return too. You want a priest (leader), protector and provider in them, they want fitness, femininity, and agreeableness in you.
If you won't 'settle' for a man you think is not your best offer, neither will they for a woman who doesn't fit their requirements.
Some years later, he found out she had started a beautiful family with another man of better means, who has provided her with a comfortable life, while he still struggles to make ends meet. After a quick pondering, he began to laugh at himself, as he openly admitted the lady made the right decision as she would have been miserable with him. She did what she thought was best for her.
I think in most contexts, the usages of the word "gold-digger" are unfair to women.
Why? It's because nature designed women to desire and seek out the most valuable male they can attract, who has status, competence and resources. That's not gold digging, that's biology, and that's protecting her best interest and securing the future of her offsprings. Love is not an acceptable currency for rent and school fees anywhere in the world.
If you are a male and you have a problem with this, you might need to increase your productivity (double your hustle). Women are nurturers, men are providers. You'll never find a man of means or on track to means complain about "gold-diggers", instead they gladly use their resources to their advantage.
It's just like back in secondary school. If an unscheduled "tear a sheet of paper for a quick test" made you break out in sweats and protests, you probably weren't one of the brilliant and studious, ever-ready students in your class.
If you are a woman reading this, nothing good comes for free. Those kind of men who have worked hard to make themselves competitive would want something in return too. You want a priest (leader), protector and provider in them, they want fitness, femininity, and agreeableness in you.
If you won't 'settle' for a man you think is not your best offer, neither will they for a woman who doesn't fit their requirements.